Published on August 25th, 2014 | by Steven Roman
Review: Kiss Me, Satan! a.k.a. Vin Diesel’s New Movie
I’d never heard of Kiss Me, Satan!—the 2013 five-issue miniseries published by Dark Horse Comics—until the day I received a review PDF of the trade paperback collection, but by the time I was done reading I had just two questions: How had I missed this enjoyable supernatural action-fest when it was originally published; and how has Vin Diesel not already optioned this thing for his next starring action-hero role?
Written by Victor Gischler (X-Men, Sally of the Wasteland, Deadpool) and illustrated by Juan Ferreyra (Colder, Prometheus), Kiss Me, Satan! (a title that reads like it belongs on a triple bill with Peter Fonda’s Race With the Devil and Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! at a drive-in theatre) is set in New Orleans, and like the cover says, New Orleans is a werewolf town—because it’s the werewolf mafia that runs the Big Easy. The wolfman in charge is Cassian Steele, who’s looking forward to the birth of his son and heir…until a witch named Verona tells him that there’s a problem with the baby. It’s a problem that could potentially destroy the empire Steele has built—if anyone should learn about it, that is. For Steele, the simplest solution is to kill everyone who knows the secret, which means that Verona and her three younger witch protégés quickly go on the run, with a bounty on their heads.
Enter: Barnabus Black, a man literally caught between heaven and hell but packing enough lead to deal with any threats from both. It becomes his job to protect the witches from the bounty hunters—both human and lycanthropic—on their tails. But just as Steele has a secret to protect, so does Barnabus—and his secret is a hell of a lot more dangerous.
As I said at the start, Kiss Me, Satan! seems like a perfect Vin Diesel film vehicle: it’s got a brooding, bald-headed loner with a secret, fast cars, legions of monsters to punch in the face, lots of gunplay, zombie ninjas, and a trio of beautiful women to protect. In fact, once Diesel popped into my head while I was reading, I couldn’t not hear Black’s lines being delivered in his signature gravelly voice. Beyond the Diesel vibe of his main character, Gischler delivers a high-octane story with great, natural-sounding dialogue and leaves the door open for a sequel. So where is it? Gimme.
Artwise, Ferreyra takes the same pedal-to-the-metal approach as Gischler. Action scenes practically explode off the page, and his monster designs are truly horrific. He and Gischler make for a fantastic creative team.
Bottom line? A fast-paced story, matched with equally explosive art, make this a great read for horror and action fans. Now when can I expect the movie?
Kiss Me, Satan!
Written by Victor Gischler
Art by Juan Ferreyra
Cover art by Dave Johnson
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
136 pages • full-color • trade paperback
On sale now